I am an eloper and I love photographing elopements. Through my years of helping couples plan their elopement, I have seen all of the reasons why couples elope. Every couple should know that their wedding day can and should be about them. If you decide to elope or go forward with a large traditional wedding, it should be your decision.
Eloping is not for everyone, and that is 100% okay. This article is to shed some light on the reason why couples choose to get married this way. For some people, an elopement might seem like the craziest idea ever. You have to have all your friends and family with you, right? Maybe you do, but not everyone.
Eloping is not a bad thing. I think some family members think the couple is trying to hurt them by not inviting them, but that is just not true. There are so many reasons why. I can guarantee that 99.99% of the time, couples are not just scheming to hurt someone. It is their wedding day, they have more important things to think about.
Budget is often one of the big reasons why couples elope. A lot of couples are paying for their own wedding so spending 30K+ is not an option even if they wanted to. Renting spaces for a large wedding and paying for meals and drinks can add up pretty quickly. Elopements tend to have zero or minimal guests so that is one huge expense that a couple can knock off the list.
If a couple doesn’t have to pay for those big ticket services for their wedding they can have more money to spend on more important things. Maybe you could afford to have a big wedding, but then your budget for your attire or photographer would be much lower. Being able to spend what you want in what areas you want is a huge perk for eloping.
The most recent reason why couples have been eloping. It is Jan 2021 as I am writing this. Last year so many couples changed form big weddings to eloping, or just got engaged and decided to elope. On the other hand, some couples have rescheduled or canceled due to Covid.
I applaud all of you who decided that no matter what you will get married, even if it was not like your original plan. An elopement may have been the last thing you thought of doing, but Covid happened and you made it work.
I have never been to a wedding where a couple gets to make all the decisions. When it comes to a guest list, parents like to have a say in who is invited. And many times it is not people you as a couple even know or care to invite. Remember your baby sitter that one time when you were two? Of course you don’t, but they are invited. Not everyone’s guest list gets intervened, but if you are having an elopement with just you or intimate family, there is not drama for people not invited because nobody really got invited. This is one of the huge reasons why couples elope.
Sometimes couples will think “well if I invite this person, I have to invite this person”. Whether you are eloping or not, if you ever say “have to invite”, just stop. I know it is hard to not do that when having a big wedding, but at the end of the day it is your day and you are not obligated to invite anyone. You don’t want to look back at photos of your guests and think “why did they come”. So weird, right!?
Avoiding this wedding and family drama will also make it so much less stressful. Wedding planning is always stressful on the couple, the wedding party, the parents and anyone else involved. My couples who have had big weddings always say how glad they are that it is over (or almost over when we leave). I am not kidding, that is always the saddest thing to hear. They tend to say it in good spirits, but it is truly sad to say that on the best day of your life.
I hear the opposite with my eloping couples. They tend to not want the day to end. I felt the same way. It went by so fast and it was so fun. We had hardly any planning or coordinating so the day was just so simple. We went with the flow, which many eloping couples do. If you tend to get stressed easily that may be a reason enough for you to elope.
Because They Want To
Some people just want to and some people can relate to all of these. My husband and I eloped because we wanted to, budget and to avoid drama and stress. Often it all has to do with a couples decision. Nobody was going to help us pay for our wedding, and we wanted to do what we wanted. We lived in FL at the time (and hated it) so we decided to elope in Sedona. It was the perfect day, and I am so happy we did it. You can read more about our elopement here.
There are many reasons for a couple just wanting to elope. They may want a beautiful scenery that they have to travel for. They may hate being the center of attention. Or they may just want to have their day be about them and not the MOG. The list can honestly go on and on with this “why”. If you just want to elope, but there is no other reason for it, that is reason enough I promise. Do exactly what you want on the day you get married, whether it be an elopement or traditional wedding.
One of the hardest parts about deciding to elope it telling your friends and family. I promise once it is done you will feel so much better, but it can be nerve racking. Once they know they shouldn’t expect an invite they should get out of your hair about planning. Sometimes parents or family members will keep bringing up the subject, but once it is said and done try not to let them get to you. If anyone is upset or feels like they should be invited (and aren’t) then my suggestion is to just dismiss their comments as much as possible. It is your day, not theirs.
There are so many reasons why couples elope. If any of these sound like you, then you are probably already considering it. Before Covid, eloping was becoming pretty popular especially in the southwest. Now it is just a norm except for the couples who are waiting out their big wedding. If you just want to elope but fell bad telling family or friends that, you can always use Covid or budget as an excuse. Most of the time someone won’t whip out 30K to pay for a big wedding if you say that!
I would love to hear about the reasons why you chose to elope below in the comments. Was it your only option? Or is that just what you wanted to do?